Last in First Place
by shitakemushrooms
Summary: She undoubtedly was destined for this greatness that should’ve been placed upon her hardheaded teammate. Unfortunately, he was in place where she desperately wished she was now, buried six feet under. AN I hope that you would review


Last in First Place

It might've been seasonal, she concluded. Maybe it ran by the months, but the feeling she received at these times never ceased. It was in these certain moments that she often wondered whether everything should've been different. It was definite, yet for some unfathomable reason, everything did turn out different; different than planned, different than she could've ever imagined.

It was at times like this that she wished she was a stronger person; a better person that could've bore the brunt of the world upon her shoulders. However, as much as she wished for more, she often gained less. Time and fate was never on her side and she often held the burden of their doing in her fragile little heart. It was unfortunately really, after all this time, the burden never seemed to lighten; always weighing down her shoulders till she could've sworn she sported a permanent slumped within her posture.

The heavy burden within her heart seemed to escape seasonally. Every time she caught the first glance of a lonely drifting snowflake settling upon the cold damp ground of winter, the emptiness that held that heavy burden intensified till a piece of her soul shriveled up and dried out. She was frightened. Every year the same process took place until she felt as if her soul lost all of its passion for life. It seemed as if she was powerless to stop the process. When she did try, she knew that her efforts were futile, and slowly, she died off of the face of the earth.

It was ironic. She never imagined herself to be so damn gullible when she was a child. That was supposed to be Naruto, not her. Yet, now, she wished she was in Naruto's place more than ever. To be honest, she never thought Naruto would ever amount to much. Yet as time slowly passed, she began to realize that it was her that would never amount to anything. It was completely ironic. Here, she was on top of the world, yet, she felt as if she never did amount to anything.

Maybe if she'd started out her life as a civilian, not aspiring to become a shinobi, everything would've changed. She loved her village too damn much to become a civilian. She undoubtedly was destined for this greatness that should've been placed upon her hardheaded teammate. Unfortunately, he was in place where she desperately wished she was now, buried six feet under. How he ended up there was a story that she never wanted to reiterate. How she ended up where she was, was a story she never wanted told. Unfortunately, the former Rokudaime now lay as dead as ever under six feet of rubble and worms and nothing she could say or do would bring him back. Naruto was such an idiot. How could he ever think that she could replace him as Hokage? No one, and she knew that no one in the entire planet loved their village more than he did.

She was on top of the world and for some insanely, demure reason, she could not feel any lower than she did now as she stood in the Hokage tower peering over her village. Her reflection radiated off upon the glass as the sun gave it an unusually cleansing shine that was more than paradoxical on a day that was supposedly dirty and dreadful in her full opinion. Her visage displayed a woman that was rough around the edges; a woman who lived her live surviving through tragedy after tragedy only to come out victorious; a woman of experience. She unfortunately wasn't some fanatical 12 year old genin anymore. Today, standing before a village that she swore to protect, she was a 38 year-old Hokage.

Of course, it wasn't to say that she wasn't attractive because that was far from the case. If anything, she was more attractive now than ever as she held the same attractive features as she had in her teen years and a lot more. But one glance at the woman and it was undoubtedly clear that there was more to her than her attractive well-toned figure, or her beautiful face, but it was more of a sparkle of weariness that only came with wisdom and experience. It was the type of cynicism that only a person who truly understood the inner workings of the world could understand. It was the type of cynicism that was awaiting a fleeting moment to know that it would vanish before it would be caught again. And who was to say it could ever be caught again?

Now, she was frightened because she knew he was coming. The stinging emptiness that only came seasonally now came in a full-fledged attack as the anticipation and anxiety ate her shriveled rotten heart up. The reason for her loss was about to come knocking upon her door and she, with ever fiber of her being, could not muster the courage to enact revenge. Haruno Sakura was a failure. All she could do now, was wait.

And then it came; that knock that she so desperately wished would just go away. It was in that moment that once again, she wished she again was that 12-year old naive girl that was too in love to realize a world outside of her own bubble.

"Hokage-sama, we have the prisoner," a voice reverberated through the titanium-coated door.

She paused for a second, taking in a deep breath, she responded with an unnatural quiver within the vocals of her voice, "Bring him in."

And as quickly as her courage came, it dissipated at that exact pace. She tried to catch her breath, but it seemed that everything was caught in her throat. The sight of him sent her body into overdrive, and she felt as if the brunt of the world was again weighing down upon her shoulders. Here they were, just the two of them; it was everything she wanted ever since he left her there on that bench so long ago. Now, this was more than reality. This was more than anyone could ever bear.

Her voice cracked. "Give me a moment with him."

The two ANBU seemed weary to acquiesce to her request. However, against their better judgment, they left the two successors of the legendary sannin to discuss their devices. After all, their prisoner was being executed in less than an hour. After all, everybody knew that the Hokage and their prisoner were once teammates and good friends.

She felt his gaze on her back as the door behind her clicked shut. It seemed in that exact moment, she couldn't bring herself to turn around. The questions kept on coming: Could she look at him without bursting into tears?; Would she be able to face the man who killed her best friend?; Did she in any shape or form love him? Despite all she denied, she knew that she reserved a special place within her heart that she rusted shut all these years. It didn't seem any easier now than it had when she was 12. She was still privy to loving the bastard. Unfortunately, cynicism took its toll and her once open personality shut itself off.

The time slowly ticked by as he felt the need to clear his throat. "Are you just going to stand there?" His tone seemed unconcerned; almost indifferent.

This was a joke. It was all a joke. It was a dream. She just had to wake up. Taking in a deep breath once again, she spun on her heels to face him. What she found didn't surprise her. Nothing, she concluded now, would surprise her anymore. She said nothing as she continued to observe him from behind her desk.

"I'm surprised Sakura, you're not angry," there was scorn lurking dangerously within his voice.

Her eyes narrowed at his comment. She felt her voice slowly return. "Why should I be angry?"

He chuckled. The dark and deep tones of his voice irked her as she felt her restraint slowly trickle away. "Have I been gone that long?" he taunted, "you don't care that I just decimated Naruto."

Was he picking a fight with her? He of all people should've known that she didn't have a hard time kicking his ass anymore. All it took was one look that spoke more than it gave to transform the atmosphere within the room. "Of course I care Sasuke."

His eyes were still upon her visage as she stood directly face to face with him. He seemed to consider his words carefully, still hanging the indifferent persona within the air. He now seemed amused, almost sadistic. "So how does it feel Sakura? To be in his place? To know that you'll have to fill his shoes whether you like it or not?"

He gave her too little credit. They were after all, too old for such daunting antics. With a slightly amused chuckle, she replied, "How does it feel Sasuke? To know that the only person who ever saw you as anything more than just the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan is buried six feet under by your very hands?"

He laughed. He seemed to take an interest now as the indifference slowly left his obsidian orbs. "Only? Sakura, we both know that's not true."

Her emerald eyes glittered with extreme antagonism towards the man. Hesitantly, she drew a breath, "Whether it used to be true or not Sasuke; whether it is true now, I am in no position to judge."

"Oh?" he seemed displeased. "Sakura," he moved towards her, "I know you want to let me go. I know you better than you know yourself."

Chuckling disapprovingly, she tilted her head, "It seems Sasuke that we are in quite a dilemma here. Because it is YOU that doesn't understand what predicament you are in."

His footsteps were steady; slow till he was directly inches away from her face. His soft warm breath fanned on her nose as he spoke readily, "I personally know that you would do anything for me."

It stung her. His words really fucking stung. She knew that the instant she let her guard down, she would send herself straight down the path of hell and back. Her eyes were focused upon his chest, daunting, daring, and restraining. Even through it all, she somehow ended up losing. She hated this game. It never seemed to favor her. Once again, this was all she could do to keep herself from falling apart. The back of her eyes stung with a fiery passion as she knew the instant her mouth opened, her voice would crack.

"Sasuke, how long has it been?"

His body was still positioned in front of her, chest inches away from her face. As he spoke, she felt the vibration of his voice tingle her left ear. "Sixteen years."

Voice quivering, she continued, "It somehow surprises me Sasuke, after all this, I never saw what kind of person you really were." The atmosphere took a serious turn, "It was never enough huh? Everything I offered? Everything you promised to take but in turn didn't?"

He absorbed her words along with the shock that accompanied it. It was devastating to say what she never knew she wanted to say to the man that she loved. It was almost heart-wrenching to say that she foresaw the future and what the repercussions of her words would bring her. "Finally Sasuke, it seems to me that all I've done is completely and utterly fooled myself." She took in a whiff of his scent before continuing, assuring herself that she'd remember it till the day she would lay next to Naruto, "Maybe you're right Sasuke. Because lord knows I love you. But unfortunately, I can't let you go. Because I've been stuck in this perpetual cycle of forgiving you for your insane stupidity."

She took a deep breath and finally with an undeniable amount of courage, brought her eyes up to meet his. Her words had an effect that surprised even him. His eyes were wide with shock, seemingly too stunned to respond to her simplistic explanation. With one final burst of courage, she reached upon and gently touched her lips to his, taking the feel of the softness of his lips. His eyes immediately fell down towards her figure moving away from him, distancing herself from the very person that she knew she couldn't live without.

"Take him out. Do as you may," the strength within her voice returned. Even as her ANBU led him out, she held onto her sanity one last time. After all, she was on top of the world. After all, even if she was first, she was the last one to get there. And even as a child, it incomparably seemed to her that she would always end up last in first place.


End file.
